In Repair » Gay Marriage

Going Green

Brian — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:56:29 +0000

This map from the 2000 census shows the percentage of same-sex couples by county. Since 2010 marks the first time in history that same-sex marriages will be counted by census officials, I wonder how much green will be added to the map after the results are in?

Source

Open Letter To Opponents Of Gay Marriage

Brian — Fri, 29 May 2009 03:12:31 +0000

Dearest Heteros:

I’ve been rather incensed lately by some of the commentary that I’ve been reading on conservative, “Christian” blogs regarding California’s ruling on gay marriage. You seem so worked up over something that will have absolutely no bearing on your life. One commentator said that he needs to “defend” marriage, as if somehow allowing more people to marry will make his marriage less valid and secure. Maybe you’re all afraid of diluting the matrimony pool or something. Maybe you’re afraid that giving all those good-looking guys and gals the option of tying the knot will provide more competition for you. I don’t get it.

I just want to reassure you of some of the things that will remain completely unchanged after gay marriage becomes legal. We all know it’s going to happen eventually, so calm down, prepare yourself, and read the following points to make yourselves feel a little better.

1. You will still be able to date straight men and women. We gays might think some of them are hot from time to time, but they probably aren’t going to be interested in marrying someone of the same sex. See… no increase in competition.

2. You’ll still be able to get a marriage license. It might not say “husband” or “wife” on it, but that will simply give you more leeway when deciding who is going to wear the pants in the family.

3. You will still be able to have sex. Those of you who like to thump Bibles over the gay issue should be aware that intercourse before marriage is considered fornication. But I guess it’s okay, since you’ve been making gays have fornication for years by prohibiting same-sex marriage. As far as sex after marriage…

4. Guys, I can guarantee you that your wife will still claim she has a headache several times a month, and she’ll probably completely stop performing oral sex once you “put a ring on it.” I’m referring to a wedding ring, of course, so get your minds out of the gutter. Just remember that your wife is only refusing to go downtown because she would be committing the mortal sin of sodomy. Yeah, I bet you didn’t realize that anything besides vaginal-penile intercourse is sodomy, huh? You sodomite, you.

5. I can promise your mother-in-law will still be showing up unexpectedly for the weekend. That is unless your wife/husband has a gay sibling, since I’m sure she would have much more fun spending her weekend with them getting mani-pedis or gardening tools at the Home Depot.

6. You men will still be expected to go shopping for something fabulous to give wifey on anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Don’t blame us if all the good gifts are gone when you get there. You’ve had all these years to pick out the good stuff while we were at home crying in our closets.

7. Ladies, don’t expect your husbands to instantly start showering properly and picking out clothes that match just because the gay guys living next door are immaculately groomed and attractive. Straight guys will continue to stay in touch with their masculine side by lanquishing in their own filth, farting out loud, and scratching their private parts in public. It’s been that way for thousands of years, and we wouldn’t want anything to change now would we?

8. Gentleguys, your wife is still going to expect you to mow the lawn, take out the trash, and walk the dog. Just because the two ladies across the street are sharing those chores doesn’t mean that you’re getting off the hook. You married for better or worse, right? Sometimes “worse” includes picking up dog poop and carrying it home in a plastic baggie.

9. If and when the behavior of your significant other becomes completely intolerable, you will still be able to file for a divorce. Keep in mind that you may not be able to afford a divorce since you spent all your recession money trying to “save” other people’s marriages, but you can always move to opposite ends of the house. We know you conveniently “forgot” about that whole divorce thing being bad for marriage, but we’ll keep that little tidbit on the down low.

10. And finally, all those earthquakes, hurricanes, and terrorist attacks that the far right claims will happen when gays get married… those are going to happen anyway. I mean, if God uses cataclysmic events to punish us for our behavior, He must have really hated those dinosaurs.

In all seriousness, though, there isn’t anything to worry about. You can continue on with your lives as before, safe in the knowledge that your marriage is significant and worthwhile. You can even watch us make fools of ourselves as we get a crash course in what it means to legally joined with another person. I’m sure you’ll have lots of laughs and opportunities to poke fun, but remember that some of you have had a lifetime of experience and more support from the community at large than we could ever dream of.

You may gloat over the fact that we can’t reproduce without scientific or outside intervention. You can feel a little glee in knowing we might never feel comfortable or safe holding hands in public. You may wear your homophobia, your discrimination, and your fear of change like a badge for the rest of your lives, but know this… we will prevail. We are on the right side of history and time will prove that you are wrong.

Queerly yours,
Brian

Straight People Have No One To Blame But Themselves

Brian — Fri, 08 May 2009 18:20:29 +0000

My parents married when they were seventeen years old and had their first child (me) 11 months later. My sister arrived around two years after that. Life at home was tumultuous at times, but we were well cared for and loved. After my sister married and I moved out the house, my parent’s marriage quickly fell apart. In 1999, after twenty-six years of wedded misery, they were divorced.

Honey’s parents also married at a young age and had two children. His descriptions of life at home were far from pleasant, and his parents volatile marriage also came to an end after both children were grown.

I’ve been thinking about how ironic it is that even though both of the marriages that most influenced our lives were unsuccessful, we still long to give it our own shot. With all the negative examples of matrimony that one can look around and see these days, why on earth would gays and lesbians risk putting themselves through such misery?

I guess we are hard-wired from birth to seek out someone to share our lives; someone to marry and grow old with. Then life complicates matters by handing us someone of the same sex, and our dreams of marital bliss become something to be feared by the very people who nurtured this desire and usually provided such terrible examples for us to follow.

Shocking The Aflac Agent

Brian — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:43:25 +0000

Honey came to visit me at work this afternoon, a little while before a couple of women peddling Aflac insurance arrived. One of the ladies, a tall blonde, kept looking at me with an air of familiarity. After answering a barrage of questions in an attempt to determine where our lives might have previously intersected – like where I graduated from and worked previously – she inquired if I were married.

Taken aback, I paused for a second before saying, “Partnered.” She seemed a little confused, so I reached over and patted Honey on the knee as I said, “This is my partner.” Considering I shocked myself with that statement, I can’t begin to imagine what she must have thought.

I despise being asked about my marital status. Calling it a “sore subject” would be severely underestimating how I feel about it. I am just as committed to my relationship as any other married person, and I refuse to label myself as single or unmarried just because the government doesn’t recognize my union. Yet, technically, I cannot claim to be married. Until we receive some form of legal recognition of our relationship, we are in limbo and completely disregarded by most of society.

We never figured out why we looked so familiar to one another, but further conversation revealed her to be socially conservative. I hope my honesty gave her some food for thought, but that’s probably being a little overly optimistic.

A Powerful Message

Brian — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 03:07:19 +0000

While watching reruns of Sex and the City last night, I happened to catch the new television spot for LetCaliforniaRing, a campaign to change hearts and minds about gay marriage. I was so moved by it that I recorded it to the DVR.

Married With Children

Brian — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:05:02 +0000

A gay couple visited our church on Sunday and brought along their beautiful little girl. I noticed they were each wearing what appeared to be wedding bands and they seemed like the perfect representation of domestic bliss. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was briefly struck with a sharp pang of jealousy.

Not long after Honey and I took our seats, I leaned towards him to ask if the kid was theirs, somehow thinking that he would automatically have more knowledge of the situation than I. He told me he didn’t know, and I immediately blurted, “I want one!” He laughed and offered to request prayer for me, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t referring to asking God to give me a child.

Even though I might be somewhat delusional, I’m keeping hope alive that one day we too will be married with children.

The Real Reason Gays Want To Get Married

Brian — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:56:53 +0000

I found this in my incoming links and thought that I should share with everyone the “true” reason that homosexuals want to get married. This uber-brilliant commentary was posted on a forum for homeschoolers.

The bottom line is the reason the homosexual community is trying to approve gay marriage isn’t because they care about being “married.” Homosexual relationships don’t last long, they tend to move from one partner to another. The reason they are pursuing it is to desacralize marriage, make it common and worthless the same way rampant divorce has made marriage a byword and people stop believing in marriage altogether and simply cohabitate.

That in itself provides a pretty strong argument for public education.

Check out my previous post if you want to know why this homosexual wants to get married.

Gay Marriage Certificate

Brian — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:43:18 +0000

I stumbled across this lovely marriage certificate for gay unions online and wanted to share it here.

It reads as follows:

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.” – Shakespeare

“From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.” – Baal Shem Tov

This certificate celebrates before all those present that on _____ at ___________________________, a loving and binding commitment was entered between __________________ and ____________________.

We pledge to each other to be loving friends and partners; to talk and listen, to trust and appreciate one another, to respect and cherish each other’s uniqueness, and to support, comfort and strengthen each other through life’s sorrows and joys. We further promise to share hopes, thoughts and dreams as we build our lives together.

May we grow our lives ever entwined, our love bringing us closer. We shall endeavor to establish a home that is compassionate to all wherein the flow of the seasons and the passages of life are revered and honored. May our home be forever filled with peace, happiness and love.

Source

I Need A Reality Check, Apparently

Brian — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:03:19 +0000

Don’t you just love it when people will take the time to write a long email to tell you how wrong and stupid you are, but they can’t take the time to read your entire entry first? I received the following message today from someone who read my “12 Reasons Gays Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Marry” post.

who do u think you are listing these 12 reasons why gays should not be together, thats horriable and outrageous. who are u to say that this list of things is true. what really though just because we were not born with eye glasses stuck to our face we should not use them. and your also saying its not right for a person to use birth control?????, really though thats the most messed up thing . what do u think is normal????? young children 13,14,15,and 16 years of age runnning around having unprotected sex because the condom is unnatrual so then they end up pregnant??? then what they can’t raise a baby and finish school @ the same time so what then some of them turn to abortion , come on for the love of god people like u make me soooo mad. And whats this your saying gay people can’t have children??? where do think the children of these young mothers of the unprotected sex go. really think about it, u need a reality check.

Now, consider that this message appears at the very top of the post that they are referring to:

Please read this with a sense of humor. This list is meant to be sarcastic, showing the ignorance of arguments against same-sex marriage. Just for the record… I support marriage equality for all.

I responded, but I must admit that my response wasn’t very Christ-like.

As If I Need More Proof That John Rich Is A Jerk

Brian — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 15:05:42 +0000

John Rich, who is sort of famous for being the other half of country duo Big & Rich, recently spouted off on talk radio about his views on gay unions. His words have erupted quite the firestorm in Nashville and at his label, Warner Bros Records.

I think if you legalize that, you’ve got to legalize some other things that are pretty unsavory. You can call me a radical, but how can you tell an aunt that she can’t marry her nephew if they are really in love and sharing the bills? How can you tell them they can’t get married, but something else that’s unnatural can happen?

Earlier this year when Alyson and I went to the Buck Jones Benefit Concert at The Cannery in Nashville, I was less than impressed with the stage manners of Mr. Rich. Jewel performed a couple of songs with him and he acted like an overprotective boyfriend. She looked obviously perplexed as he demanded that the audience stay completely silent during her solo performances. When one intoxicated fan beside us asked Jewel to smile for his camera, Rich snapped and started hurtling curse words, before threatening to physically attack the fan and have him thrown out by security.

Needless to say, his views on this particular issue are far from surprising. He did later issue an apology, which reads like so many other publicist-issued apologies that we’ve heard from other celebrities.

My earlier comments on same-sex marriage don’t reflect my full views on the broader issues regarding tolerance and the treatment of gays and lesbians in our society. I apologize for that and wish to state clearly my views. I oppose same-sex marriage because my father and minister brought me up to believe that marriage is an institution for the union of a man and a woman. However, I also believe that intolerance, bigotry and hatred are wrong. People should be judged based on their merits, not on their sexual orientation. We are all children of God and should be valued and respected.

Matthew Grant, a gay Nashville native who describes himself as a fan of Big & Rich, issued the following statement which was printed in the Tennessean newspaper:

I am a 24-year-old man who loves America, beer, his church and country music. I have worked around major country artists and get to be on the inside looking out at times. I just happen to be gay (not by choice, I scream to you).

Today, I am saddened to hear statements from John Rich of country group Big & Rich (and a great songwriter to add) in regard to gay marriage; though I am all for free speech, as I use it myself.

There are a thousand young boys and girls who are fans of his, sitting in a room feeling so bad about themselves because they have feelings for the same sex that they do not understand or want. They get called a slur on the school bus and now, one of their favorite singers just said that they are “unnatural.”

I would love to share with Mr. Rich the statistics of GLBT young people who kill themselves due to feeling “unnatural” and that there is no hope for them — and of people who murder, “taught” to hate because of a statement that someone they knew or looked up to fed to them.

If you know of Big & Rich, their whole schtick is “Love Everybody.” All we want is understanding and human rights.

As Mr. Rich counts his newfound money, he understands the power of his uneducated words as they leave his mouth and reach the ears and hearts of people who once looked up to him.

Sources: The Tennessean, Down With Tyranny, The Huffington Post
Special thanks to Alyson for bringing this to my attention.